Sweet surrender

SWEET SURRENDER…. In this clever Kos item, Stroszek, responding to “cogent and potent criticisms” from the right, is prepared to offer Republican critics of health care reform a gracious compromise.

Over the past week, we have seen your passionate protests and heard your concerns about Democratic proposals for health care reform. We have considered your insightful and well reasoned arguments, and on behalf of progressives everywhere, I am here to say: OK! We give up! We are willing to compromise on the proposals that concern you. You’ve won! Yay!

Yes, in light of the provisions that conservative activists have demanded be removed from any and all legislation, Stroszek is willing to say, without equivocation, that under Democratic reform proposals, “We will not euthanize your grandmother.” Democrats will also agree, among other things, not to let Rahm Emanuel’s brother kill Sarah Palin’s baby, not to nationalize hospitals, not to “provide illegal immigrants with unlimited free health care,” not to eliminate private insurance, and not to establish “a super-secret-awesome health care program for ACORN employees.”

With these concessions having been made, I trust that we can now move forward on health care reform with a broad, bipartisan consensus. Blue Dogs and Republicans, you can now rest easy knowing that the concerns of the town hall protesters have been met. While the progressive dream of a nation in which old people are slaughtered to pay for the abortions of ACORN-employed illegal immigrants will again have to be deferred, we are willing to settle for a bill without these measures in the name of bipartisanship. Congratulations, Republicans. You’ve won this round.

The right sure knows how to drive a hard bargain, but I can live with these painful concessions, giving up these long-held liberal goals.

Compromise is all about give and take, and Democrats, no matter how much they want to euthanize grandmothers or reward ACORN employees, should be prepared to accept these concessions. Republicans, who seem to take these concerns very seriously, should be thrilled.

Can we pass reform now?