Sex-Crazed Coeds Want Your Money!

When I saw the headline at the right-wing CNS site–“Sex-Crazed Co-Eds Going Broke Buying Birth Control, Student Tells Pelosi Hearing Touting Freebie Mandate”–I really did think another conservative had mistakenly cut and pasted a piece from The Onion, or that some mischievous intern had sandbagged the writer with an ironic topper.

But no: the headline non-ironically reflected the views of columnist Craig Bannister, who in addition to being a big-time wingnut, clearly thinks of himself as a clever dog. Check this out:

A Georgetown co-ed told Rep. Nancy Pelosi’s hearing that the women in her law school program are having so much sex that they’re going broke, so you and I should pay for their birth control.

Apparently, four out of every ten co-eds are having so much sex that it’s hard to make ends meet if they have to pay for their own contraception, Fluke’s research shows.

“Without insurance coverage, contraception, as you know, can cost a woman over $3,000 during law school,” Fluke told the hearing.

$3,000 for birth control in three years? That’s a thousand dollars a year of sex – and, she wants us to pay for it.

Yes, us. Where do you think the insurance companies forced to cover this cost get the money to pay for these co-eds to have sex? It comes from the health care insurance premiums you and I pay.

But, back to this woman’s complaint that she’s spending $3,000 for birth control during her time in college.

“For a lot of students, like me, who are on public interest scholarships, that’s practically an entire summer’s salary,” she complains.

So, she earns enough money in just one summer to pays for three full years of sex. And, yes, they are full years – since she and her co-ed classmates are having sex nearly three times a day for three years straight, apparently.

At a dollar a condom if she shops at CVS pharmacy’s website, that $3,000 would buy her 3,000 condoms – or, 1,000 a year… Assuming it’s not a leap year, that’s 1,000 divided by 365 – or having sex 2.74 times a day, every day, for three straight years

He goes on in this vein for quite a bit longer, but you get the drift. This is a guy whose knowledge of birth control is limited to his research on condom prices at the CVS web site. And I’m sure he wonders why women think they need to have a say on regulations governing contraception coverage. The only thing that surprises me is that he didn’t also tell us about CVS’ prices on aspirin.

Ed Kilgore

Ed Kilgore, a Monthly contributing editor, is a columnist for the Daily Intelligencer, New York magazine’s politics blog, and the managing editor for the Democratic Strategist.