THEY’RE NOT SUPER VILLAINS; THEY LACK SUPER POWERS…. Literally every attack Republicans have thrown at the Obama administration has been a dud. Some have been more embarrassing than others, but when “socialism” started polling well, it probably should have been a signal to the GOP to reevaluate their smear tactics.
Now, however, Republicans leaders are very excited about the new line of attack. Today, they’re rallying support for the “Keep Terrorists Out Of America Act.” This follows up on arguments from January, and the message hasn’t improved since.
The GOP argument is that the president, by closing the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay, may move as many as 250 detainees to detention facilities in the U.S. Congressional Republicans want to make that next to impossible, arguing that Obama would put American lives at risk by bringing suspected terrorists onto American soil.
This is a very stupid argument.
There are multiple angles to this, but let’s cut to the chase: we already lock up some extraordinarily dangerous people in maximum-security facilities. Al Qaeda suspects may be scary, but they don’t have super powers. Obama isn’t going to just drop off bad guys on Main Street and ask them to play nice.
I’ll just quote Jon Stewart’s commentary from January, which summed up the problem nicely. In a message to Republicans, the “Daily Show” host explained:
“I know you guys are freaking out, but you know what we in these United States do better than anyone? Imprison people.
“We’ve got 2.3 million people locked up. Per capita, we’re #1… But these detainees are ‘the worst of the worst’; the creme de la crud; they want to kill Americans. Yeah, unlike our current inmate population of jaywalkers, cream puffs and boy scouts who only want to hug Americans [images of Charles Manson, Tim McVeigh, et al, on screen].
“Look, I know you’re Republicans so you don’t watch MSNBC, but check it out on the weekends. They have this 6-10 hour block called ‘Lockup.’ We can’t handle these piddly punks from Guantanamo? I’ll put a good, old fashioned, USA born and raised, brain0eater against any of those motherf***ers. Any of them. USA! USA!
“Let’s stop pretending these Guantanamo guys are all super villains. They’re thugs and jackasses, not Magneto. If they had mutant powers we would’ve known by now. But you don’t want them on our soil. I understand. We’re safe as long as they’re in Cuba with 90 miles of ocean between us. Yeah, nobody could ever make that harrowing journey — oh, except maybe a six-year-old with access to high-tech innertube technology. I know Janet Reno would like you to believe that Elian got here on the wings of a magical schnauzer, but no! It might be comforting to keep these prisoners in legal limbo, but the thing is they’re not actually in limbo. They still exist. So until we can come up with an actual limbo, a phantom zone so to speak, I’ll take my chances with the system that’s been able to contain the brain-eater guy.”
It’s hard to know for sure whether Republicans know all of this, but are desperate for an effective attack (in which case they’re lying), or if they actually believe their own nonsense (in which case they’re fools). Either way, the “Keep Terrorists Out Of America Act” is absurd.