SHOPPING CARTS….I’m fighting off a cold. Blecch. I blame unsanitary shopping carts.

What else could it be? For years I’ve been mocking those antibacterial wipes that supermarkets have started putting out by the shopping carts. Just more yuppie idiocy, I figured, part of the trend toward protecting ourselves from every remote possibility of harm no matter how dumb. I mean, how paranoid do you have to be to insist on wiping down your shopping cart before you head into the store?

Well, fine. I’m a believer now. Push a shopping cart around on Sunday and get sick on Monday. QED. Just like those telephone handset sanitizers from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. You might call this the addled logic of a sick man, and you’d be right, but I don’t care. No more shopping carts for me.

Anyway, if I write anything dumber than usual today, that’s why. Blame the disease. Please.

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