I know I recently argued that journalism school isn’t worth the cost, but today the Boston Herald changed my mind. If attending J-school could teach me to write like this, I’d happily bite the bullet and do so:

Tufts University bans nookie if roomie ‘is present’

Dorm rooms doubling as steamy love huts have Tufts University throwing cold water on sex on campus – at least when horny students let it all hang out in front of red-faced roommates.

“You may not engage in sexual activity while your roommate is present in the room,” tuts Tufts’ 2009-10 guest policy, newly revised in response to student gripes about rambunctious roomies and their raunchy romps.

Tufts spokeswoman Kim Thurler told the Herald the 8,500-student school has fielded roughly a dozen complaints from chagrined scholars “who expressed concerns that they were experiencing uncomfortable situations” with their roommates’ sex-tracurricular activities.

The use of “sex-tracurricular” has got to be the newswriting equivalent of a Triple Word Score or something. Thank you, Laurel J. Sweet and Benjamin Bell, for brightening up my Tuesday with your lasciviously virtuosic pun-ditry.

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Jesse Singal is a former opinion writer for The Boston Globe and former web editor of the Washington Monthly. He is currently a master's student at Princeton's Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Policy. Follow him on Twitter at @jessesingal.