There were some very solid entries in the contest I posted earlier. Tough call, but I’m going with MattF’s entry:

If Rick Perry had been smarter and better prepared, he would have been a more successful candidate for the Republican nomination.

Simple. Straightforward. True. Pointless. Congratulations, MattF — you will be receiving your imaginary gift by next Blaturday at the latest.

I also can’t resist giving a nod to Daryl, whose contribution, “If frogs had wings they wouldn’t bump their asses when they hopped,” wasn’t original, but which gets points since it reminded me of the first time I heard that charming aphorism: when I saw “Wayne’s World,” an all-time 1990s classic.

Obligatory unrelated “Wayne’s World” clip:

Jesse Singal

Jesse Singal is a former opinion writer for The Boston Globe and former web editor of the Washington Monthly. He is currently a master's student at Princeton's Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Policy. Follow him on Twitter at @jessesingal.