If you’re sleepy this morning (as I am), and need a good jolt of noise to snap your eyes open, like a cattle-prod plunged into your bathwater, check out the latest shriek-fest from the NRA’s Wayne Lapierre, as published by the Daily Caller:

It has always been sensible for good citizens to own and carry firearms for lawful protection against violent criminals who prey on decent people.

During the second Obama term, however, additional threats are growing. Latin American drug gangs have invaded every city of significant size in the United States. Phoenix is already one of the kidnapping capitals of the world, and though the states on the U.S./Mexico border may be the first places in the nation to suffer from cartel violence, by no means are they the last….

After Hurricane Sandy, we saw the hellish world that the gun prohibitionists see as their utopia. Looters ran wild in south Brooklyn. There was no food, water or electricity. And if you wanted to walk several miles to get supplies, you better get back before dark, or you might not get home at all.

Hurricanes. Tornadoes. Riots. Terrorists. Gangs. Lone criminals. These are perils we are sure to face—not just maybe. It’s not paranoia to buy a gun. It’s survival. It’s responsible behavior, and it’s time we encourage law-abiding Americans to do just that.

In case you don’t recognize Lapierre’s Post-Apocalyptic America because you live in one of the many places where violent crime rates have been steadily dropping for many years now (nationally they are approaching rates unseen since World War II), perhaps you think we could just use some more cops in ol’ Wayne’s neighborhood so he doesn’t feel the need to build an arsenal of military weaponry. But no, Lapierre’s already anticipated that argument, and says we’ll soon have no cops at all because of Obama:

President Obama is leading this country to financial ruin, borrowing over a trillion dollars a year for phony “stimulus” spending and other payoffs for his political cronies. Nobody knows if or when the fiscal collapse will come, but if the country is broke, there likely won’t be enough money to pay for police protection. And the American people know it.

Read that paragraph again, and ask yourself how this man has come to be one of the most powerful political leaders in the country. I mean, really, people say stupid things all the time in the heat of the moment, on television or radio or just a street-corner argument. But Lapierre or someone who works for him had to write that incredibly stupid paragraph; he had to approve it; and I would hope an editor from the Daily Caller asked if he really wanted to claim that federal budget deficits mean cities and counties will soon have to eliminate police departments. Yet there it is.

In any event, Lapierre sounds more every day like a parody of himself: a hysterical old man who started out yelling at kids to get off his lawn and now has barricaded himself indoors with five years worth of canned food and shooting irons. This Valentine’s Day, he could probably use a hug. But I’m sure he’d rather have a high-capacity ammunition clip.

Ed Kilgore

Ed Kilgore is a political columnist for New York and managing editor at the Democratic Strategist website. He was a contributing writer at the Washington Monthly from January 2012 until November 2015, and was the principal contributor to the Political Animal blog.