Worm to return to Pyongyang

Worried about the heightened tension on the Korean Peninsula?

Well, worry no more. It was announced yesterday that we’ll soon have a Worm in North Korea.

Kind of.

NBA legend Dennis Rodman is going back to North Korea!

The Worm materialized at a charity gala tonight in Miami Beach, and announced he is heading back to impoverished nation whose supreme leader is threatening a nuclear holocaust.

“I’m going back August 1,” the former rebound getter told Gossip Extra exclusively. “We have no plans really, as far as what we’re going to do over there, but we’ll just hang and have some fun!”

“We,” by the way, meant Rodman and Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un.

Guess his first Jong-ket was Un-forgettable, eh?

So what does Rodman think of the ongoing spat between the North and, um, practically everyone else?

When asked about Un’s escalating war rhetoric, Rodman said the Soviets’ rhetoric was worse in the 1950s and 1960s.

“The Russians were way out there, and they were acting on their threats,” Rodman said. “He (Un) just wants to be loved. He just wants to sit down and talk. That’s all.”

But Dennis! You said that his people do love him. Or you said that they “respect” him, at least (although you neglected to mention that the affection is shown at gunpoint).

Rodman is not entirely wrong, however. Imagined postwar threats and hypocrisy aside, Nikita Krushchev did promise to “bury” the West.

Yet, apart from the Russian Civil War, we never fought the Soviets directly.

Make fun of Rodman all you want, but he still doesn’t look as silly and detestable as the chickenhawks who see war with North Korea as inevitable.

Samuel Knight

Samuel Knight is a freelance journalist living in DC and a former intern at the Washington Monthly.