Frankly, I was surprised that the normally sharp and astute Monthly readership didn’t recognize the name Eddie Van Vedder when it appeared in one of yesterday’s posts. As cognoscenti know, the genial, snaggle-toothed Van Vedder was probably the most eminent rock xylophonist of the heavy metal era, famous for his hits “Oopsie Daisy” and “Vapor Lock.” He was also known to the readers of the gossip pages for his tumultuous marriage to former child actress and current Depends spokesperson Vondella Vermicelli. Van Vedder’s promising career met a tragic end when he was struck by lightning while playing the extended solo portion of his prog rock experimental composition “Incipient Dementia” while onstage at the James Rosen Ampitheater in Pyongyang, North Korea.

Jamie Malanowski

Jamie Malanowski is a writer and editor. He has been an editor at Time, Esquire and most recently Playboy, where he was Managing Editor.