Maybe Trump is campaigning in Maine for the same reason that Clinton recently made an appearance in Nebraska. These are the only two states that apportion Electoral College votes by congressional district, and the candidates are trying to poach a vote by winning a single congressional district while losing the state overall.

And I know that Trump has to be polite to the Republican governor up there while he’s visiting, but I gotta be honest. Even if you filled the Goodyear blimp with nitrous oxide and flew down to the Capitol Building and handed out a few thousand balloons, there is no way in Holy Hell that the U.S. Senate would ever confirm Paul LePage to serve in any capacity whatsoever in a Trump administration.

Here’s what Trump just told Scott Thistle, a reporter with the Portland Press-Herald:

Q: Speaking of Governor LePage, do you foresee any space in your cabinet for him and if so what would you like him to do?

A: I’ll tell you what. I don’t know that he would want that but he is a very talented guy, he is also a great person, a tremendous person and if he were available I would certainly find something for Paul because he’s done a great job up here, he’s not only popular, he’s done an unbelievable job so I would certainly say that he would be a candidate.

Trump has been on a roll recently saying more asinine things in one day than Sean Hannity typically manages in a whole week, but not much tops the following for making people want to hit their heads against their desks.

1. Paul LePage is a very talented guy
2. Paul LePage is a great person, a tremendous person
3. Paul LePage has done a great job, an unbelievable job
4. Paul LePage is popular

Of course, Trump also said this:

Q: What would be the best deal you could negotiate as president of the United States?

A: Peace all over the world would be the best deal. And I think I would know how to do it better than anybody else, but peace all over the world.

After this election is over, I am going to remove my brain and soak it in bleach until it’s disinfected.

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Martin Longman is the web editor for the Washington Monthly. See all his writing at