The Vampire Cheney Clan Makes a Comeback

Much like her father, Liz Cheney is trying to weasel her way into Congress.

Back in January, when I learned that Liz Cheney would again try to use Wyoming (she’s from Virginia) to weasel her way into Congress, I wasn’t very charitable about it.

With the looming retirement of Freedom Caucus wingnut Cynthia Lummis, the reliably Republican at-large Wyoming congressional seat is wide open, and there will be about eight candidates vying for it–among them, Liz Cheney, the daughter of the worst vice-president in the history of our country. Ms. Cheney attempted to oust Republican Sen. Mike Enzi in a 2014 primary, but, as I predicted, she fell on her face in spectacular and humiliating fashion and dropped out in 2013.

Part of the problem for Liz back then was that the people of Wyoming are conservative but they’re not allergic to compromise. It was also a problem that she’s not really from Wyoming despite her father having served in the seat she now seeks.

Ordinarily, I’d give her zero chance of winning this seat, but in a seven or eight person plurality-wins election, simply having the most name recognition might be enough.

The nation needs a new Cheney in Congress like it needs a hole in the head. So, break out the garlic, the wooden stakes, and whatever else can ward off or defend against the undead.

Alas, the vampire could not be diverted from her destiny. She won the primary last night and will undoubtedly be sworn in next January to the same seat her pulseless father used to cover up the Iran-Contra affair and launch himself into Über-wealth as the Iran-sanction skirting chairman of Halliburton. He then used his position as vice-president to push our nation into a war that predictably empowered Iran and then sent his daughter Liz out to tell us how Iran is the most evil, dangerous country ever and we should never make any Munich deals with them to prevent them from pursuing a nuclear weapon.

I apologize if I am vituperative but the Cheneys are one subject that I am not dispassionate about. In a sane country, this clan would not be reentering Congress to reestablish their influence.

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Martin Longman

Martin Longman is the web editor for the Washington Monthly. See all his writing at