Curt Schilling Credit: Andrew Malone

Curt Schilling was a very good, often dominating, major league baseball pitcher for the Philadelphia Phillies, Arizona Diamondbacks and Boston Red Sox. As a New York Yankees fan, I had many opportunities to lament that he pitched for the opposing team. But he’s dumber than a burlap bag of hammers and he’s not going to defeat Elizabeth Warren or launch any kind of presidential campaign in four years.

“One of the things I’d like to do is be one of the people responsible for getting Elizabeth Warren out of politics,” Schilling told WRKO radio in Boston, according to The Providence Journal.

Schilling recently hinted at his future political aspirations in a comment thread on his Facebook page. He said he’d run for state office first, and then the White House in eight years. But if Hillary Clinton were elected, he said, he’d make a run for the presidency in four years.

As early as 2004, Massachusetts Republicans were talking about recruiting Schilling (who was still pitching for the Red Sox) to run against John Kerry. It’s like a fixation, as if helping to break the Curse of the Bambino means that Bay Staters would line up to vote for a moron who doesn’t believe in evolution, is opposed to gay marriage and is too much of an intolerant jerk to be employable as a commentator for the Little League World Series.

Schilling’s only non-baseball related claims to fame are arguing with people on Twitter and taking a bunch of money from the Rhode Island government for a project that went belly up.

In July 2010, the Rhode Island Board of Economic Development approved a $75 million guaranteed loan to 38 Studios. 38 Studios promised to bring 450 jobs to the state by the end of 2012. In May 2012, 38 Studios defaulted on its loan from the state of Rhode Island and failed to meet payroll obligations to its employees. 38 Studios and its subsidiary, Big Huge Games, then laid off their staffs with a mass email. Some of the laid-off employees may have second mortgages because the company had not actually sold homes for them as part of a relocation package. Some have accused Schilling of hypocrisy based on the conflict between his professed views on “big government” and the studio’s relationship with “big government”. On November 1, 2012, Schilling was sued by the state in connection with the loan. Governor Lincoln Chafee said: “My message to Rhode Islanders is this: I know that you work hard for your paychecks, and for your tax dollars to be squandered is unacceptable. The Board’s legal action was taken to rectify a grave injustice put upon the people of Rhode Island.”

Of course, Schilling blamed Gov. Chafee for his own lack of business sense.

The guy is basically unemployable and he wants to be the president of the United States.

Our ideas can save democracy... But we need your help! Donate Now!

Martin Longman is the web editor for the Washington Monthly. See all his writing at