DECONSTRUCTING DICK….Amy emailed me to say that her internet connection was dicey tonight and could I please liveblog the convention in her place? So here goes.

Listening to Cheney’s speech, the thought that kept running through my mind was that I’m sure glad I’m not a campaign reporter. I mean, if I were, then I’d have to figure out a thousand words of coherent prose to file sometime in the next hour or so, and I’m just not sure I could. After all, it was just Cheney’s usual flat, boring, rabidly warmongering and intermittently dishonest stump speech. What is there to say?

But I’ll try. For starters, I note that he just couldn’t resist using the “sensitive war” nonsense yet again. Classy guy.

I note also that Zell Miller got way louder applause than Cheney. Maybe they should have put him on the ticket instead?

And I was pleased that halfway through the speech the crowd started yelling “Inkblot, Inkblot!” That seemed like a gracious gesture to a famous Democratic cat. That was what they were yelling, wasn’t it?

What else? Well, between Zell and Dick, there were so many mentions of FDR that you’d almost think the guy had been a Republican. Who’d have thought Roosevelt was such a GOP hero?

And finally, I note that Cheney ended his speech with a simple “Thank you all,” which seems like a breach of etiquette. Isn’t the required finale for all convention speeches “God bless you, and God bless America”?

I’d write more, but I think the cat box needs cleaning again. Besides, after hearing Zell and Dick I’ll bet Michael B?rub? thought he’d died and gone to heaven. I imagine his commentary should be up soon.

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