PAT BUCHANAN EXPLAINS IT ALL…. The McCain campaign is anxious to make voters scared of the notion of a Democratic president working with a Democratic Congress, but McCain’s had some trouble describing the consequences — probably because the Democratic agenda is pretty popular.

But Pat Buchanan is willing to go where McCain’s isn’t, explaining in his latest syndicated column what Americans can expect if a President Obama works with a Democratic majority in the House and Senate. Some of the highlights:

* Swift amnesty for 12 million to 20 million illegal aliens and a drive to make them citizens and register them, as in the Bill Clinton years. This will mean that Nevada, Colorado, New Mexico and Arizona will soon move out of reach for GOP presidential candidates, as has California.

* Two or three more liberal activists of the Ruth Bader Ginsberg-John Paul Stevens stripe will be named to the Supreme Court. U.S. district and appellate courts will be stacked with “progressives.”

* Special protections for homosexuals will be written into all civil rights laws, and gays and lesbians in the military will be invited to come out of the closet. “Don’t ask, don’t tell” will be dead.

* The homosexual marriages that state judges have forced California, Massachusetts and Connecticut to recognize, an Obama Congress or Obama court will require all 50 states to recognize.

* A “Freedom of Choice Act” nullifying all state restrictions on abortions will be enacted. America will become the most pro-abortion nation on earth.

* Universal health insurance will be enacted, covering legal and illegal immigrants, providing another powerful magnet for the world to come to America, if necessary by breaching her borders.

Ol’ Pat seems a little preoccupied with immigration and gays, doesn’t he?

I don’t doubt there’s a segment of the population who might find such an odd rant compelling, but in general, reading Pat Buchanan tirades reinforces a simple fact: the right-wing culture war is so 1990s.

In the midst of a financial crisis and two wars, Buchanan and his cohorts apparently want to tell voters, “Be afraid! Gay, Mexican abortion doctors are coming! Run for your lives!”

I remember a time when Buchanan’s rants were infuriating. Now, he just seems like some harmless clown, with harangues that read more like parodies than anything else.

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Steve Benen

Follow Steve on Twitter @stevebenen. Steve Benen is a producer at MSNBC's The Rachel Maddow Show. He was the principal contributor to the Washington Monthly's Political Animal blog from August 2008 until January 2012.