Dick Cheney, author

DICK CHENEY, AUTHOR…. Dick Cheney will be leaving public life fairly soon — 170 hours, but who’s counting — but once he has some time away from his “duties,” the notorious Vice President plans to write a book.

…Cheney, the silent sly one who’s words were mostly saved for the ears of the president, just told Sean Hannity today that he’s seriously considering writing a book.

“I never have,” Cheney said. “and my family has been bugging me about it. I’ve got 40 years since I came to town to stay 12 months. I’ve got a lot of stories to tell. And a few scores to settle.”

As far as I can tell, this is still in the talk-about phase, and Cheney hasn’t lined up a publisher or inked a contract. But I’m guessing that interest will be lukewarm, and barring any shocking revelations he’s willing to publish, Cheney’s book is bound to be a dud.

First, Cheney is almost comically dishonest, and everyone knows it. Who’s going to pony up $29.95 for a book written by someone who can’t be trusted?

Second, Cheney may have “a few scores to settle,” but it’s very unlikely that his book will be a juicy tell-all, with fascinating behind-the-scenes insights. He’s too secretive to dish the good stuff.

And third, after he leaves office, will Cheney’s insights and perspective really be in demand? Every decision he’s made for eight years has turned out to be wrong, if not completely disastrous. Cheney’s departure from public life will be a welcome development, and it’s hard to imagine a lot of book buyers wanting to relive the Bush years through Cheney’s eyes. We’re talking about eight years most of us will prefer to forget. It doesn’t exactly scream, “Best seller.”

But putting all of that aside, if Cheney’s writing a book, he’ll need a title. Any suggestions?