Thanks to the miracles of college marketing and overpriced athletic gear, Americans can buy Ivy League sneakers. Well, at least for 75 percent of the schools.

According to a piece by Eve Binder at Ivy Gate:

According to EUKicks, a blog for sneaker fans (hey, it takes all kinds), [New Balance] …will be releasing a line of Ivy-League-themed hiking shoes this January. The shoes, which are riffs on an existing model of New Balance sneaker, will come in hues “inspired” by each university’s colors, and will feature an interpretation of each school’s crest on the tongue.

New Balance has decided it will only manufacture six flavors of Ivy League sneaker. Cornell and Yale, you’re out of luck. No doubt Yalies have enough idiotic hipster footwear to tide them over for the next eight centuries, but it’s a shame about Cornell-this could really have put them on the map, you know?

Part of the problem is that while there are eight schools in the Ivy League, there are really only five colors. Yale shares blue shades with Columbia. Cornell shares red hues with Harvard.

They’re not really missing out on much, however. The Dartmouth shoe is dark gray, even though the college color is obviously green. The Princeton sneaker is just straight-up ugly. [Image via]

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Daniel Luzer is the news editor at Governing Magazine and former web editor of the Washington Monthly. Find him on Twitter: @Daniel_Luzer