This writing in this story has to be experienced to be believed. It is as perfect a specimen of tabloidese as you’re ever likely to read. Sample sentence:
Bin Laden was also a big fan of caffeinated colas, which probably allowed him to keep up his energy as he made sweet love to his many ladies all night.
I realize this stuff is as likely to be part of a disinformation campaign as it is to be fact, but I for one sure hope this part is true:
Bin Laden also reportedly used Just for Men hair dye to keep his greying beard black, presumably to make the ladies happy.