You Can Definitely Squeeze That Bully To Death With Your Nuclear Arms

I kinda thought Marco Rubio had already scraped the bottom of the allegorical barrel in suggesting he’d base his approach to IS on that great national security strategist Liam Neeson, or at least Neeson’s character in the Taken series.

But here’s Mike Huckabee in Johnston, Iowa (per The Iowa Republican’s Craig Robinson):

I’m not a war monger, let me be very clear – I think the best way to avoid war is to have the most robust military in the history of mankind and the kind of military nobody ever wants to wake up and find on the other end of the fight.

I learned this on the playground as a kid, all of you did. If there is a bully in your school, who does he pick on? He picks on who he thinks he can whip his butt. He never picks on a kid who he thinks can whip his butt. And the day that he picks on the wrong kid, and that kid beats his butt, he never does it again.

[For] the U.S. Military, our strategy should be pretty simple. We will beat the butt of anyone who takes us on. We will do it quickly. We will do it efficiently. We will do it so effectively and so overwhelmingly that the next bully will think twice before taking a shot.

Wow. Robinson did not record whether Huck was actually drooling when he offered that sophisticated prescription, though he did allow as how the Arkansan seemed to be working on getting rid of his “nice guy persona” from 2008.

Mission accomplished.

Ed Kilgore

Ed Kilgore, a Monthly contributing editor, is a columnist for the Daily Intelligencer, New York magazine’s politics blog, and the managing editor for the Democratic Strategist.