I Knew There Would Be Days Like This

Days like today make me weary. I don’t like reading about how we’re going to try to destroy the International Criminal Court, close the PLO mission in Washington DC, or have a second stupid summit with Kim Jong Un. It hurts my sense of national pride.

And it just hurts my cerebrum to read about how Cynthia Nixon was so concerned about an Andrew Cuomo smear campaign accusing her of anti-Semitism that she went to Zabar’s and ordered a cinnamon raisin bagel with lox, red onions, capers, tomato, and plain cream cheese.

It doesn’t make me feel much better to believe that Martina Navratilova can say what I want to say about Serena Williams without being cast aside as a clueless part of the problem. I guess there are some things I am not supposed to talk about.

I’m glad to see that at least some polls are showing a deterioration in Trump’s approval numbers. But every time I see a poll showing any support for him at all, I feel like using a staple gun on my eye sockets. I know I would feel the same way even if he had three percent approval. There are some things that no human should support, and yet some of us always do.

For example, some people support Omarosa now because she’s making trouble for the president. People shouldn’t do that. It makes me want to use my desk to give myself a concussion.

I don’t know how many people want to make it easier to release methane into the air, but I imagine they can be counted with my fingers and toes. Naturally, that means the Trump administration is going to do just that because that’s the kind of populists they are. They’re gutting environmental protection because a few amoral business executives control everything they do. Apparently, making America great again entails more than moving our racial mores back to the 1950’s era.

Tomorrow, I’ll read blogs and newspapers again looking for ways to add something insightful and of value to the national conversation. Today was a failure. I feel lucky to have survived it.

Martin Longman

Martin Longman is the web editor for the Washington Monthly and the main blogger at Booman Tribune.