FRIDAY’S MINI-REPORT…. Today’s edition of quick hits:

* I guess the conspiracy theorists will think the terrorists are in on the hoax: “Al-Qaida confirmed the killing of Osama bin Laden and vowed revenge, saying Friday that Americans’ “happiness will turn to sadness.” The statement was the first by the terror network since its leader was slain in a U.S. commando raid against his Pakistani hideout.”

* Syria: “Security forces fired on demonstrators in six Syrian towns and cities in a day of protests that activists declared a “Friday of Defiance,” in which 26 people died, but a withering crackdown subdued the most restive town and prevented many protesters from gathering in larger demonstrations, activists and human rights groups said.”

* Japan: “Japan urged a power company Friday to suspend all three reactors at a coastal nuclear plant while a seawall and other structures are built to ensure a major earthquake or tsunami does not cause a second radiation crisis.”

* I wonder if congressional Republicans have heard about this: “Americans are paying the smallest share of their income for taxes since 1958, a reflection of tax cuts and a weak economy, a USA TODAY analysis finds.”

* Republicans sure do love to take orders from Wall Street: “Republican senators vowed Thursday to block any nominee to lead the fledgling Consumer Financial Protection Bureau unless stronger limits are put on its power, in the latest blow in a long-running battle to rein in the watchdog agency before it officially launches this summer.”

* Let’s just say Condoleezza Rice isn’t having a very good week.

* I don’t know Nancy Pelosi personally, but I get the feeling she enjoys annoying the hell out of her Republican colleagues.

* Sen. Richard Burr (R-N.C.) has a new idea: abolish the Environmental Protection Agency, and fold its responsibilities into another agency.

* Remember her? “Monica Goodling, a key figure in the politicization of the Justice Department during the Bush administration, has received a public reprimand from the Virginia State Bar, Virginia Lawyers Weekly reports. The state bar found that Goodling committed ‘a criminal or deliberately wrongful act’ that reflected poorly on her ‘honesty, trustworthiness or fitness to practice law,’ the publication reports.”

* Why the Department of Justice’s interest in a for-profit college operation, accused of bilking taxpayers, may be bad news for Sen. Olympia Snowe (R) of Maine.

* This is an actual story from the NBC affiliate in Miami: “Floridians are going to have to start pulling up their pants and stop having sex with animals soon.”

Anything to add? Consider this an open thread.

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Follow Steve on Twitter @stevebenen. Steve Benen is a producer at MSNBC's The Rachel Maddow Show. He was the principal contributor to the Washington Monthly's Political Animal blog from August 2008 until January 2012.