So on his “Campfire Blog,” which is apparently how he communicates with the world when he’s not on our television screens, Santorum Super-PAC heavy and all-purpose spokesman Foster Friess apologized to the poor dumb humorless people who didn’t get his “joke” about “gals” back in his day using “Bayer aspirin between their knees” as a birth control method. He duly begs our forgiveness for his not anticipating our humorlessness.

But instead of just shutting up on the subject, and maybe letting his money do all the talking like the Supreme Court has encouraged him to do, Friess went on to say the controversy over his “joke” gave him a fresh opportunity to remind everyone what a cool dude Rick Santorum is on the subject of contraception:

He publicly stated he would not ban contraception; he has said if he were a member of a state legislature which introduced such a bill, he would vote against it.

That’s mighty nice of Rick, but not exactly a big act of courage, and not really honest, either, since he’s supported a “Personhood Amendment” under which any number of devices and presciption drugs that most Americans understand to be “contraceptives” (intra-uterine devices, the Plan B “morning-after” pill, and perhaps even “The Pill,” the basic oral contraceptive used by tens of millions of women) are in fact homicidal “abortifacients” that should be banned in all circumstances.

Friess doesn’t acknowledge any of that, but he does acknowledge Rick’s outspoken personal opposition to contraception by any definition and tries to turn his candidate’s kind (if extremely limited) tolerance of the heathen on this subject into an invidious contrast with the president:

[H]e has never attempted to turn his personal preference into public policy unlike the stand President Obama has taken in forcing Catholic institutions to embrace his world view.

If this is Foster Friess’ idea of an act of contrition, I’d sure hate to see how he’d behave if he became the Power Behind the Throne at the White House.

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Ed Kilgore is a political columnist for New York and managing editor at the Democratic Strategist website. He was a contributing writer at the Washington Monthly from January 2012 until November 2015, and was the principal contributor to the Political Animal blog.