Demonstrating yet again Dartmouth’s astounding lack of self-awareness, Dartmouth graduate Isaiah Berg offers several really unconventional ideas about how to fix the fraternity system. Over at Dartblog he writes about his plans:

Mandate beer connoisseurship. The problem with Keystone, besides the fact that it comes in a can, is that it is absurdly inexpensive and tastes horrid. And with an ABV of around 3%, Keystone can be consumed faster and in greater quantities than most other beers. There are negative externalities to cheap beer: fraternities are more likely to give it out indiscriminately and consume it indiscriminately, which tend to cause problems. The College could choose a number of high-end craft beers such as Dogfish Head, Switchback, Harpoon, etc. and simply mandate that only their products be served in the kegs at student functions. Animal House antics are made less attractive while serving and consuming full-bodied, superior, expensive beer. Students’ palates would thank them later.

Nice try.

I’m not really sure if he’s serious but this would only improve the school’s Greek system if the problem were minor, along the lines of “neighbors are complaining.” If your problem is hazing scandal, fancy beer isn’t going to help. [Image via]

Daniel Luzer

Daniel Luzer is the news editor at Governing Magazine and former web editor of the Washington Monthly. Find him on Twitter: @Daniel_Luzer