ARNOLD INVESTIGATES HIMSELF….Arnold Schwarzenegger is planning to hire a private investigator to look into charges that Arnold Schwarzenegger groped a dozen women over the past couple of decades.

Say again? Maybe his investigators can team up with OJ’s. You know, save some money all around.

And in other news ? well, the same news, actually ? Arnold is also apparently under the impression that he has a personal attorney-client privilege with the elected attorney general of the state of California. I hope he doesn’t have too many more fantasies like that about how state government works.

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