THE BULGE….According the The Hill, “sources in the Secret Service” have told them that the infamous bulge underneath George Bush’s coat is….

A bulletproof vest.

Really? What’s more, he wears it “most of the time” when appearing in public ? which is odd since it doesn’t ever seem to show up except during debates. Odder still, they say they didn’t fess up to this earlier because they didn’t want to compromise Bush’s security on the campaign trail. So why tell us now? Is he planning on never appearing in public again?

Ah, the hell with it. I believe them. None of the other theories ever really made sense anyway.